"Hopeful Tips for connecting with your Kids

This is an article I wrote for homework in my coaching class.  I'd love to  hear your thoughts.

“Hopeful” Tips for Connecting with your Kids

by Sarah Green

January 16, 2012

Parenting is a challenge, today more than ever!

We live in a world where connecting with each other gets more and more difficult.  Gone are the dinners around a table, where kids talked with their parents and learned skills of bonding and connecting.  Now they are entertained by their parent’s ipads or iphones, their Dsi, or some other gadget.  Parents, weary from a long day’s work, are thankful for some peace and quiet; the kids are happy, because they’re not bored.  But what we are sacrificing in this scenario far outweighs the benefits.  And simply, that is connection.  Connection with other humans is one of the most important human needs.

Here are some other factors that contribute to the disconnect we face:

• A culture that is engrossed in gaming; our kids spend hours and hours isolated in their rooms, playing video games.
• A culture where our teens spend more time texting than they do talking.
• A culture where we connect through social networks like Facebook, instead of face to face interaction.

We are quickly becoming a nation of islands – people living their lives in isolation and disconnected from those around them.

Here are a few tips from Coach Sarah on how to break this cycle, and connect in significant ways with your kids – whatever their age.

1. Talk with your kids
• What was their day like?  Who did they spend time with?  What are some good things that happened in the day/things they liked about the day?  What happened that day they didn’t like? 
• What happens in your child’s life may not be earth-shattering news, but it’s important to them, and asking them how their day was goes a long way in connecting with them where they are at.
2. Spend time with your kids
• What do they enjoy that you can spend time doing with them?  Throw the football around, play monopoly, laugh with them while watching their favorite show, play a video game with them, read them a book, build a sandcastle or a snowman with them, etc.
• Teach them things – how to make scrambled eggs, bake cookies, mow the lawn, how to throw a baseball, how to change the oil in their car, etc.
• Spending time with your kids will strengthen your connection and bonding.
3. Validate your kids emotions
• This is one of, if not the most important thing you can do to connect and bond with your child.
• Whatever your child is feeling, don’t be in a hurry to fix it.  Spend time  with them in their emotion.  Let them know that whatever they are feeling is not only okay, but that you will be there with them in that emotion.
• Once they feel safe that what they are feeling is okay, and that you are with them, they will begin to be receptive to working on “fixing” the issue (if they are sad/mad/etc.)

It is definitely harder in today’s world to connect with our kids, but it’s not impossible.  In fact, it’s fun!  And there’s nothing more rewarding than investing in your child, and feeling that bond and connection grow!

This article written by Sarah Morales-Green, for more tips and coaching help, please visit hope-coaching.blogspot.com